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Whenever You Remember
:When you look back on times we had :I hope you smile :And know that through the good and through the bad :I was on your side when nobody could hold us down :We claimed the brightest star :And we, we came so far :And no they won't forget Chapter 1 - Don't You Hate When Your Best Friend Abandons You Three days. It would be bad, if it were just eating pellets that taste like rat dirt and the worry of knowing my friends are in danger. But oh no. Cobweb knew that I'm terrified of Twolegs. This stings. Although I suppose I should have expected it. He's not Cobweb anymore. I tricked myself into believing he was. I trapped myself. Stupid, stupid, stupid... I told Jinx I was going home...if I didn't bash her on the head too hard (long story, please don't ask) then she should go running to Thorn. Not that I want Thorn to ride to my rescue. He'd do it in a heartbeat too. That tom worries me when he does stupid things like that...makes me think he... Argh. Shut up Firefly. I pace the window for the umpteenth time. I need to get out. But the twolegs seem to have dealt with stray cats before- there isn't a cat flap and they never let me out. I hate it. They have to be coming, I remind myself, Thorn wouldn't leave you here. But what if Cobweb has guards or something? What if Thorn is bleeding out in a gutter because of me? Or Cobweb...what if they killed each other? Oh ancestors. Get over yourself, I think savagely, You're not that important and yu're not in danger. Cobweb's just messing with you. ...I hope. Chapter 2 - The Rescue Gets its Act Together Usually I wake to one of the little twolegs trying to sneak up on me and pet me. Trying to scramble away while having a mini- heart attack at the same time is not easy. Today I wake up to the twolegs shrieking, the little one in joy, and the older ones in anger. "KITTY!" the little one calls, clapping its hands. I creep out of my nest and peek out the door. The twolegs are gathered around an open window where a cool breeze blows in...and a cat lies. I freeze and the cat lifts it's head and gives me a death glare from one eye. JINX! I start to pelt for her, but she jerks her head to the left and I skid to a halt, uncertain. "Go to the left you stupid-" The male twoleg turns and notices me. He sighs and heads towards me. I break to the left, running and running until I turn a corner, breathlessly and then- SLAM. I reel back and my vision goes back. "Get up!" I struggle to my paws and wince as Thorn's green eyes come into focus, "Took you long enough." "What were you think-" he pauses and shakes his head. "Later. Jinx can't keep the window open forever." I nod. The twolegs are all chasing me now except for the grown female who watches Jinx. Thorn and I pelt into the room and I leap onto the table under the window. The female twoleg shrieks something, her hand clawing for my tail. But she is too late, I am out the window, Thorn chasing me. Under black sky, on green grass, back where I belong. "I am never going into a Twoleg den again," I mutter. "You better not," Thorn growls back. I realize he's not heading for the forest and I pad to a halt, "Thorn, where are we going?" Thorn stops, his eyes on the stars, "As soon as you left, Cobweb came back and told us you were dead. Then he proceeded to take over WindClan. He's working at RiverClan and ThunderClan now." "I didn't-" I whisper. "You didn't what? Think? Yeah, you got that one right. We needed someone to lead us, we needed someone to fight Cobweb. We needed you Firefly, and you weren't there because you trusted the wrong person even though he's hurt you plenty more then-" he stops, breathless, "Then other cats." "I don't even know why you cats made me 'leader'!" I yowl back ,"I can't lead!" "We needed a symbol!" he shouts, "You were supposed to be the anti-Cobweb, but instead you go traipsing off to your old haunt with him! Do you know how we saw that? It looked like-like-" "Just shut up," I meow tiredly, "I don't owe you anything. Thanks for rescuing me, but I'm going to go look for my parents." "Firefly, your-" "Just don't!" I meow, getting louder now. Jinx has turned now, looking back at us. "We're not even that close Thorn, I don't need your help!" He rears back, as though I've clawed him. "Fine," he mutters. "I'll go. Your welcome." And he takes off into the night. Chapter 3 - Rumor Has It The streets aren't at all what I remember them to be. They used to be crawling with slinking shapes and friends and enemies yowling and a buss of activity. Now, it's a ghost town. I'm in Cobweb's sector, so at the very least I should be running for my life from some angry cats, but I suppose all his cats are in the forest. With him. A pang of guilt hits me hard. The forest is in trouble. They need me. And Cobweb.., Then a stab of anger. I'm not necessary to take him down. Just a figurehead, a pretty word, a picture. I am the wind behind them that propels them forward, but it's not like they need me to do anything. And I honestly don't want to think about Cobweb, what he did or what I want to do to him now. I just want to go home. I want to curl up next to my mother and have her groom my pelt. I want Hawk-eye to teach me a new battle move, to ramble about how one day I will rule half of Twolegplace. I want to forget about how cruel I was to Thorn, and how Cobweb abandoned me. I don't want to think about Jinx's narrowed eyes or Silverstar's disappointment. I just want to leave it all behind, like the bad dream it was. I hear a scratching noise and nearly knock myself out as I slam against the wall in terror. I look up, eyes wild and claws out, only to see a raggedy gray she-cat looking at me with wide blue eyes. Someone I know. "Ashla?" I ask, her name nearly unfamiliar on my tongue. The first time I visited Drakon's lair, which was coincidentally the last time, she waved to me and gave me a smile. "What are you doing...here?" Her fur is grungy, and as I pad a little closer, I see her eyes. They're insane. "I raise him, you know," she babbles. "My little prince, he was so sweet you know. And those eyes..." A chill runs through me. She means him. Cobweb. "He loved me," she brags, incoherently. "But he killed his daddy! Oh, what a bad kitten. It wasn't his fault though, boys will be boys. And he has a monster in him. Oh he was a beautiful little tom, and then he was a beautiful little beast. And he left me, left me here alone! It's an honor, you know. My beautiful little kitten..." "Ashla," I say, slowly, "Do you know where my parents are?" She throws her head back and laughs. "Who needs parents?! They have Ashla!" Okay. So she's crazy. I decide to try one more time, "Ashla, please. Do you know where Hawk-eye and Lela are?" She looks at me, as though struck with a bolt of clarity. "It wasn't his fault," she whispers. "Orange eyes are poison, you know. Burns up the blue. It was the Lake..." "What wasn't his fault?" I say softly. She just rocks back and forth and I shriek it again. "What wasn't his fault!" "Demons!" she howls. "Demons with eyes of orange! Blood and blood and-" My paw smashes into the side of her head and she collapses, unmoving. Borderline hysterical, I pelt through the alleys, screaming for my parents. I fall down a lot. But Ashla's word twirl in my head, over and over and over.... It wasn't his fault. Because I can hear what she was trying to say, through the haze of madness. She was trying to tell me that my best friend didn't kill my parents. I skid to a halt, outside of our alley, tears already streaking down my face. "Mom? Dad?" I don't even have to recognize the two lumps on the pavement, don't even have to small the blood, don't even have to scream. She was trying to tell me that my best friend didn't kill my parents. But he did, didn't he? Chapter 4 - In Which the Sky Falls Some cats have low points. Maybe their owners die or they just didn't catch that one mouse or they got a thorn stuck in their paw. Sitting between the corpses of my parents, reflecting on how I pretty much destroyed any chance of going back to the Clans that I had, and trying to ignore the fact my former best friend was the one who murdered Hawk-eye and Lela, I think this constitutes a low point. But I refuse to do this again. I refuse to let myself spiral down and down until the only place to go is a place so dark nothing can ever shine through. I refuse to be that one she-cat again, the one who cries all the time and wakes the entire camp screaming. I am Firefly. And to be honest, I'm sick of this dirt. Standing, my sore joints complaining with the effort, I give my mother a lick on the forehead, and nuzzle my father one last time. When I pull away, one of my tears has trickled into his wide open eyes. "Bye Dad," I whisper, as if I was sneaking out to meet Cobweb and he was just asleep. "Bye Mom." I dart out of the alley. I half expect to have to fight the urge to cry, but I've finally reached the point where I can detach myself from my feelings, at least for a little while. At last. As I pelt for the forest, I think about the absurdity of this. My parents are dead. And I'm running back to join the cats I betrayed, and, when they came to rescue me, said some terrible, hurtful things. Also, I'm considering killing Cobweb. My mother used to have a bunch of sayings, that I think were meant to be quasi-inspirational, but always ended up horribly depressing me. Things like 'It never rains, but it storms'. She used to groom my fur, when I had a bad day, and say, 'Some day, when the sky is falling, you'll look back and realize how lucky you were'. Well the sky is falling now. And I guess she was right. The trees embrace me, raindrops splattering on my fur. I pray that Cobweb and his cronies aren't patrolling, but since I'm going through ThunderClan to RiverClan, I think I'll be okay. I just hope Silverstar doesn't have me chased off. The sky weeps on, falling piece by cold piece until I'm soaked to the bone. Chapter 5 - Forgiveness Silverstar, whom I expected to be...well, not angry...more like furious, was actually fairly calm. I trembled in front of her, grateful that since it was night I didn't have to skulk through camp in front of everyone. I was expecting Silverstar to be in a rage that, not only had I deserted the Clan, but I was now waking her up in the middle of the night to beg for mercy. "What happened?" is the first thing she says. Not a cruel jibe or a reprimand. A question, a concerned one at that. "It was a trap," I sigh, voice shuddering a little despite my best efforts. "Silverstar, I'm so sorry." "There's something else," she says, blue eyes narrowed. "My parents are dead." Her eyes are sympathetic, but I pray she doesn't begin to pity me. I can't handle that, not now. To my relief, she just says, "The Clan might be a little ornery. But they'll get over it. And I already forgive you. I'm afraid that there's really only one cat you need to be talking to." "I know," I whisper. I dip my head in respect and pad out of the den. Thorn is sitting by the river. Probably not the smartest or safest thing to be doing, what with the ShadowClan cats and rogues stalking the forest. "Hey." He looks up, green eyes wide. I half expect him to fall in the river in shock, but his claws grip the rock until he's stable. "What are you doing here?" His voice is distant. I try not to flinch. "I was really stupid," I say softly, sitting by him. "I'm so sorry. But I'm ready now, to do whatever it takes to end this." "Really?" His eyes are half-trusting, half-suspicious. "Yeah," I butt my head against his shoulder. "So, training tomorrow?" He purrs and stands, stretching and I feel my heart start to soar with the thought that I've made everything okay. But then Thorn turns to me, the mirth fading from his eyes. "You said something that really hurt you know." Oh ancestors no. "I know. I'm so-" "We're not okay," he says slowly. Seeing my face fall, he continues, "But I'm willing to try a fresh start." It's something. I nod gratefully, and we start to walk back to camp. "What next?" he asks. "You have a plan?" I nod. I do, actually, which is something of an irregularity. "We're taking down Cobweb. And I know just how to start."